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Reasons for spouse cheating

Extramarital affairs and cheating are one of the greatest factors which lead to the irretrievable breakdown in the marriage. I ask many of my divorce clients whether there has been any infidelity during the course of the marriage. Very often the answer is “I don’t know”.

Very often a spouse would cheat and not feel guilty about it because the actual sexual act meant nothing. That party would then go back to his or her spouse and family who he or she loves without feeling any regret.

A typical cheating situation would be where one spouse is continuously travelling. His job is a high-powered one, and so is that of his wife and they are not together for much of the time. People cannot go without sex for too long and often if they are alone in a different country they would give into the temptation if it arose.

Many people cheat because they like the thrill of the possibility of being caught, whilst knowing they are doing something wrong. Many men have affairs and are confident they will not get caught, and believe that “what you don’t know wont hurt you”. It is just so ironic though that the truth always seems to come out in life.

One of the more obvious reasons for a spouse cheating is when they do not get sex at home. Couples get comfortable with each other and there is no longer any romantic spark or passion between them. The one partner withdraws sexually from the other, or they both withdraw sexually from each other. The spouse who is more desperate for sex will then be the one who cheats or has an affair.

I had a case recently where I was acting for the male in the divorce. He had had an affair during the course of the marriage and had left his wife for that lady and they now even had a five month old child together. The wife could not accept that her husband had left her for another woman and fought for postponement after postponement of the case.

In the abovementioned case, at every hearing my client attended court with his new lady and their child. Their divorce was acrimonious and the two ladies outside the court argued with each other. My client’s girlfriend told me that they wanted to get married as they loved each other and now had a child together. But my client’s wife never wanted to budge and wanted my client to pay for his infidelity.

Whatever the reasons for the cheating were in the above case, the divorce eventually went through. My client’s wife could not prevent the inevitable from happening.

To prevent a spouse from cheating I think it is quite important for the spouses to make time for each other. This is not always easy but simply must be done. A good starting point would be for the two spouses to go out on a “date” at least once a week.


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