Whilst driving to Mitchells Plain Court a few days ago for a divorce trial, I noticed a newspaper headline on a lamppost indicating that Jonty Rhodes had left his wife. I was quite surprised, as Jonty Rhodes was one of my favourite cricketers, and also somebody who is a Christian. Christians frequently don’t believe in divorce.
I later read that Jonty had in fact been asked by his wife for a six month period to pass before either party approached a divorce attorney. Jonty agreed to this. The parties are officially separated and Jonty is allegedly living with a new female in Bloubergstrand in Cape Town. His wife and two children still live in Durban and Jonty is frequently travelling to and from Durban to visit the children.
There are various opinions on Jonty’s decision to separate from his wife. He had stated before that earlier on in his cricket career his wife was supportive of him constantly travelling on tours, as she recognised his cricket career as being a calling from God. His wife worked as a teacher and could often travel with him overseas when he was touring, as she had many school holidays. She prayed for him at home when she couldn’t accompany him.
Some people say that sportsmen are also human and should not be idolised and that it’s Jonty’s life and he can do what he wants. I tend to agree with that. It is his life and he can do what he wants. If he feels there is no love and he wants out then that’s what he must do.
I have written articles dealing with separation agreements and the pros and cons of first separation before formally instituting divorce proceedings. I am of the opinion that Jonty’s decision is the correct one. From a religious perspective, with Jonty being a Christian, it would be foolish straight away to rush into divorce proceedings without giving the marriage at least a chance.
In Jonty’s case there are also two children born of the marriage, Daniella aged 10 and Ross aged 5. The children are still young and Jonty probably is also considering what is in their best interests. The best interests of the minor children must always be taken into account in a divorce situation.
I have heard of many couples separating for a few months and then getting back together and making the marriage work. There is an old saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and this is often the case. However, there is also an old saying “out of sight out of mind”, meaning that the absence may make you forget the other person totally.
Divorce and separation happens so frequently in all social circles in South Africa. Rich, poor, famous, religious, non-religious, and different race groups all separate and/or get divorced. It will be interesting to see what happens in Jonty’s case, and let’s hope that the correct decision is made and that the interests of the children are protected.