How to find a divorce lawyer in Cape Town, South Africa

Coping with the stress of a divorce

A divorce is probably one of the most difficult events that you can be faced with in your life. Different people cope with a divorce in different ways. Some people are really badly affected by the divorce, while other people don't feel it that badly.

I recently had a divorce case where I was acting for the female. She and her husband were still living together. She was unemployed and they had two minor children together. She frequently went out to
pubs and clubs, three or four times a week, and started consuming alcohol regularly. Her husband did the same, even though he was mainly a “weekend drinker”.

Alcohol abuse, as mentioned in the above example, is a typical way in which some people going through a divorce, deal with the divorce and their emotions. It is so wrong though. One has to keep a grip on reality when going through a divorce, and late nights and alcohol abuse will not solve anything. That can only lead to health and other problems.

Abuse of narcotics should also be avoided at all costs, like alcohol. I had a case where I was acting for the man. He and his wife were separated, and he used to look after the children on weekends. While the children were with him over weekends his wife would go to nightclubs and take “recreational” drugs, from the Friday to the Sunday evening.

In the abovementioned example my client would drop the children back off with their mother on the Sunday evening, and she would still be “high” on the drugs with friends at her house and loud music. He was really worried about the children, as I too would have been if I were in his shoes. This is highly irresponsible behaviour, a bad example for the children and bad for one's health. It could even lead to an untimely death.

The best way to cope with a divorce is to find some kind of sport or hobby which is good for you or interests you. Going to gym or going for a run before or after work is good for the health, and will take your mind off the stresses associated with a divorce. Other options would be to join a sportsclub or bookclub or start attending church. Any good clean activity which takes your mind off the divorce is good for you.

I recently read in a magazine that a survey of 186 sets of identical twins has shown that environmental factors play a role in ageing. The survey also linked ageing to divorce, weight increase, stress and the use of antidepressants. Divorcees looked nearly two years older than their siblings who were married, single or widowed. I can well believe this.

Divorce is a very stressful time in one's life, but there are coping mechanisms. Possibly the best advice I could give would be not to rush into another relationship, but to surround yourself with good friends both male and female . And above all, look after your body and health.

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